You asked about… Three in the bedroom


I write a lot about threesomes. They can be amazing, fun and inspiring. However, I’ll admit I find the dynamics tricky to navigate. I’ve been in truly memorable threesomes with men and women, here’s how it is when it works marvellously: “There were lithe limbs everywhere, lingerie being torn off, chuckles being smothered in a deep cleft of pussy folds aching for release, not to mention the soft steel of his young, thick, trembling cock deep in my mouth and throat. I enjoyed his desperate groans and distorted facial features as he had to pull away, leaving precome dripping from the corner of my mouth as she leaned in and kissed me deeply again.” (excerpt from Tough Love – the true story of my submissive adventures)

I’ve recently had two questions relating to three people in the bedroom… 

1 – What’s up with cuckolding? I don’t get it? Why would anyone be turned on by being cheated on and being TOLD about it? (question from single male in his forties)

People get aroused by all sorts of different things for all sorts of reasons, you’re unlikely to understand and agree with them all. Cuckolding is when a man willingly lets someone else have sex with his partner in order to get off on hearing about it afterwards or even watching as it unfolds.

You may think it’s strange, but the man may be excited by seeing his woman desired by another man, her enjoying the experience and also sometimes the humiliation of the lover being younger/fitter/better looking than he is. It’s actually not so far from the gang bang porn genre or ubiquitous money shot where men get aroused by seeing other men come… There may even be biological/evolutionary factors involved, if you listen to what Chris Ryan and Cacilda Jetha wrote in “Sex at Dawn“.

Ultimately, does it matter why as long as everyone involved consents and are enjoying themselves? If it’s not your thing; leave it, there are so many other things to try…

2 – How do I convince my wife to agree to a threesome? (question from single male in his thirties)

If she’s really not interested, you should probably drop the idea – at least for now. If she’s curious but shy or nervous, make sure whatever you do as a first venture is what she is most comfortable with.Talk, find out what aspects of it she is into and what her concerns are.

Put strict limits in place if that makes her more comfortable and stick to them, even in the heat of the moment. If you do, you have a much better chance as a couple to explore and keep trying new activities. She’s unlikely to give you a second chance with something she was not entirely comfortable with, if she felt you didn’t abide by your pre-agreed rules. For example, if you want to fuck another woman, you may just have to wait and accept only a blowjob as part of your first threeway if that was the rule you agreed. Both ladies involved need to have the time of their lives – in reality it’s harder work for the man than standard fantasy seems to involve.

If she wants her first threesome to be with another guy rather than another woman, great, that’s a good start. And if you’re not comfortable indulging her fantasy of another man, you probably should drop the idea of convincing her to go with yours…

Photo source: Centre for the challenging child

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